Like A Virgin remix  Coyote 'verse
by silver ruffian
Summary: Dean, Coyote and Sam encounter a dragon and virgins in the wilds of Idaho. From the Coyote 'verse.


_**A/N for those who don't know about the Coyote 'verse: **_In _Dog Eat Dog _(posted in 2007) Dean Winchester discovered he is the human half of the trickster god Coyote. Dean and Coyote restored life to John Winchester, killed the Yellow Eyed Demon when it threatened Sam, and now Sam, Dean, John and Coyote hang out at Bobby Singer's place.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Supernatural. This is for entertainment purposes only, and not for profit. I don't own Coyote either. The Old Man hangs around my place for the BBQ deli chicken.

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><p>Dean huffed a laugh as he pulled the Impala into the clearing. "Okay. My baby doesn't have four wheel drive, so we have to hoof it from here." Dean quirked an eyebrow at his brother as he pocketed the car keys. "Unless you want me to 'port us in."<p>

"Uh, no," Sam said quickly as he shouldered his duffel bag and fumbled with the door lock. "It's not far. I'd rather walk."

Dean shrugged. "Suit yourself. Man," he growled to himself as he opened his door. "So I screwed up once and dumped you in that lake. Where's the trust?"

Sam stretched his long legs and pretended not to hear.

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><p>"Damn thing's lair is just past that clearing," Dean whispered moments later. Sam crouched down low behind the bushes. Dean followed suit.<p>

"Coyote?" Sam whispered.

"He's already here."

"Dean, what the hell is a dragon doing in Idaho?"

"Beats me. Stealing gold and virgins, I guess." Both brothers stopped dead in their tracks at the sight before them. There was a surprise out in the clearing, all right, one that was so unexpected that they both abandoned their cover and stepped out into the open.

Dragons liked dark places. There was a huge cave set fifty feet up in a hillside, just like Sam figured. Coyote was there, just as the boys expected. What Sam and Dean didn't count on was the supersized white airbag at the base of the cliff. It was the same type of airbag movie companies used for aerial stunts.

The Old Man sat next to the airbag, ears pricked alertly. staring alertly at the mouth of the cave. The black tip of his thick bushy tail wagged a little. He didn't have to turn around; he knew they were there. "Whassup?"

Dean scowled slightly as he and Sam walked up. He glanced at the air bag. "Nice rig. Impressive. What are you doing?"

Coyote didn't take his eyes off the cave. "Waiting."

"Waiting." Dean smirked as he nodded at the air bag. "Waiting for what?"

"Virgins. Leaping virgins."

"Leaping...virgins..." Dean said slowly. "From...where?"

Coyote didn't take his eyes off the cave entrance. "From up there." His tone indicated that his pup should have known _that_ all along.

"Uh huh. You, uh, expect this to happen when?

"Any moment now."

Dean said briskly. "You remember more about these lizards than I do. What's the plan?"

"Dragons love virgins. But not all virgins love dragons. Think about it. Dragons are scaly. Definitely hard to cuddle up to."

"And you would know that _how_?" Sam asked curiously.

Coyote looked suddenly shifty-eyed. "Uh, never mind. Anyway, virgins usually flee the first chance they get."

"Uh huh. So you know a lot about virgins? _Seriously? _Thought you'd prefer the ladies with experience."

Coyote tsked as he shook his head. "Never thought you were so narrow minded, nińo. Everybody's gotta start out somewhere. Yah know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don't 'cha? _Practice_."

"Can't argue with that, but..."

"The ladies with experience were virgins once." Coyote raised his left paw, gestured at himself and then Dean. "_We _were."

Sam grinned, and Dean looked startled. "Huh? I was _not_!"

"Yeah, you were." Coyote grinned slyly as he looked fondly at his boy. "Now we didn't stay virginal for long, but we were in the beginning."

Sam snorted noisily.

Dean glared at his brother. Sam opened his mouth to say something smartass.

"Shut it, Sam!"

Sam did.

A slight rosy tinge brightened Dean's cheeks. "Okay. Moving right along now. So what's the plan again?"

"Watch and learn, grasshopper." Coyote stood up suddenly. "Oh yeah, here we go!"

Two figures came hurling out of the cave. They were young and female. One was a blonde, the other was a brunette, and both were dressed in jeans and t shirts.

The brothers stared in amazement.

Coyote's eyes sparked golden. The former captives turned slowly, gently in mid-air and landed on the middle of the airbag on their backs.

The Old Man trotted over. He stood up on his hind legs, and he grew tall enough to be able to put his forepaws on the bag. His expression was toothy, but somehow soft and friendly. "Hellooo ladies."

The blonde giggled. "Tee hee hee."

The brunette quirked an eyebrow at him. "Hello yourself."

Just then things got ugly.

The dragon thrust his head out of the mouth of the cave. He was a huge bronze sonofabitch, with a long thin face and horns everywhere. He looked down and opened his mouth, exposing hundreds of razor sharp teeth.

Dean tensed up. He could easily 'port Sam and the two women out in an eyeblink -

_Hold on, much__á__cho. I got this. _Coyote murmured inside Dean's head. Dean glanced sideways; the Old Man had never looked so relaxed.

"Heya, lizard boy," Coyote called up to the dragon.

The beast stretched its neck out downwards, scowled, then shook his massive head. "Oh. It's _you_."

"Don't you have somewhere else you have to be? Another dimension, maybe? I hear your wife is looking for you."

"Damn!" The dragon looked around furtively. He leaned halfway out of the cave, unfurled gigantic leathery wings, and sped off so quickly he was a maroon streak across the bright blue afternoon sky.

"Punk," Dean muttered.

"Well now, can we drop you ladies off somewhere?" Coyote purred smoothly. " 'm Coyote. This is Sam."

Sam raised a hand in greeting. "Hey."

"And that's my pup, Dean."

"Your...pup?" The females stared Dean up and down as if they thought he should have sprouted ears and a tail. Dean smirked.

"Long story," Coyote rumbled.

"Hey there," Dean drawled. Both girls blushed.

"I'm Shelly. I want to go home," the blonde murmured.

"Okay."

"And I'm Marlene," the brunette said. "You mind explaining what the hell just happened?"

"You were abducted by a dragon," Coyote said.

"A dragon."

"Uh huh. A dragon."

"And you're a talking coyote. With his uh...pup. And this other dude."

"Uh huh."

"So why'd you rescue us?"

"This is what we do," Sam said proudly.

"Oh, hell," Marlene said in exasperation. "Couldn't be any weirder than what we just went through." She reached out and skritched Coyote behind his left ear. The Old Man grinned and his tail started wagging.

"You guys hungry?" Dean asked. "We could stop somewhere to eat."

"Pizza!" Marlene and Shelly chorused eagerly.

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><p><em><strong>AN:**_ No virgins were deflowered during the writing of this fic.


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